Evil Genius Logo

I recently needed a logo for a "mad scientist" in Second Life to kick off a new line of products. This is what I came up with on short notice. Wow, I wish I had that kind of hair ;-). 

May Mid Month Fill In

Well, it has been a weird month. My wife is going in for surgery in the early June and it is going to be quite a strain on our finances (I'll probably have to come up with up to a month's worth of her salary). Needless to say, I have not finished writing the book. In fact I have done nothing with it lately. I'm just not feeling very creative I guess (more overwhelmed and worried than creative).

To compound these problems, a check I was expecting from a customer in early April was unable to be cashed (due to them issuing it from a Canadian bank and my bank being American). A replacement check is on its way but not issued as of yet. On top of that, some work I was supposed to be doing for another client keeps getting postponed. The guy is just too busy to send me an NDA and discuss the project. I'm not sure what that means but I'm sure it will shake out one way or another.

This month is a solid reminder that we are not really in control of our lives. The only thing we can control is our reaction to external stimuli. My response ... pulling out all my hair (look at my profile picture to see what I mean) ;-).

Things Are So Much Harder In Real Life

Well, I finished the first draft of my novel only to come to a shocking conclusion ;-). I need at least two more revisions of what is there and I need to pad (uhhh, I mean add) at least thirty more pages. I've always heard a myth that writing was "easy work". Think again. It is one of the single most frustrating things I have ever attempted.
Oh well, I have to get my nose back to the grindstone. Ciao.

First Draft Of Lambda Initiative Finished

I finished the impossible over the Easter holiday weekend. I actually finished the first edit of LAMBDA Initiative (my first novel). I never thought I would see the day when I finished a novel that I started. It must be my 35th birthday and the resulting pondering of what I had done with my life ;-). It was finally enough to get me motivated.

Mid Month Fill In

I just thought I would post a mid-month infoshare so to speak. I just finished editing the first draft of my new novel (the Lambda Initiative). I have all the changes on a paper copy (yeah, I know, how analog). I am currently working to put them into Word. It will probably take a few weeks at the slow pace I am setting. Then I plan to have take one more pass through and hand it off to another (insane) individual for a final proofread/idea session. Hopefully, by this time next month it will be ready for the final hand off to the publisher.
I don't expect much from it, it is a first novel after all. Why make it? I'd always wanted to. It was my gift to myself on my 35th birthday.
Other than that, not much is going on here. A little bit of Guinterface support, some Guinevere spam engine support and hopefully some contract work for a customer.
If I don't see you for another few weeks then ciao baby ;-)

Bored To Tears

Well, it has been a bit since my last post and I only have one thing to say, "I'm Bored!" The last four years of my life have been filled with one project after another. Guinterface kept me so busy that I don't think I had many quiet moments of self-contemplation. Now I am faced with a future with nothing but quiet contemplation.
I have been trying to stay busy, Punk IT comics and my new book have taken up quite a bit of time. After the book is finished (it's in final edit right now), I'm really going to have to find a new and challenging programming project to work on. I know that the project won't come from my day job ;-).
There has not been a request at work that has truly challenged me in three years. It is a really weird feeling when your boss asks you for something that he truly believes is complex and you deliver it the next day. It's as if while he spells out his request I already know how I'm going to do it. Between this and all of the things I have scripted I just don't know what could turn up the heat at the office.
I only have one piece of advice for all you lazy programmers out there (I mean lazy in a good way. As in why do something repetitively that a computer can do for you?). Don't script away all of your daily tasks or you will face termination or worse yet, boredom.

Where The Heck Is Lambert?

If some of you are wondering where the heck I have been for the last few weeks, look no further than this post. I have been working on my first novel called the The Lambda Initiative. I have the first draft complete and I started editing it tonight. Can I just say that editing is for the birds?
I tried to get my wonderful wife to do it but she refused and it is just as well. I am making so many marks on the page that it is a sea of green ink. I know. It should be red but all I had was a green marker. Here is the front and back cover design (preliminary).
If any of you are hurt that I did not tell you, please don't be. I simply did not want to jinx myself ;-).

Issue 4 Of Punk IT

A new issue of Punk IT, Send In The Clowns, is at dollarprograms.com. Enjoy!

End Of An Era

Well, it's official. We have officially closed down Guinterface Software. The website now points off to my dollarprograms.com website. We are no longer selling anything Guinterface. I'm not quite sure if we'll do anything with TaskTastic. 130+ downloads from downloads.com and still no sales. I'm pretty sure it is a complete and utter loser as well ;-). That's OK. It's been fun, I've learned alot, pressed the edges of my abilities back 100s of miles so to speak.

The really nice thing about all of this is that my evening free time has expanded considerably. I actually have a life again (thank goodness). It would be nice to have the money back but that was declining anyway. Time to get used to a lower standard of living ;-).

I have to admit, it kind of makes me sad. There was a lot of work that went into the building of Guinterface Software. Hopefully, I can apply what I learned to lead some venture to success in the future.

Issue 3 Of Punk IT

Another week ... another issue of PunkIT. Woot! I actually may be doing the web comic thing for real. I never thought I would get to issue 3. I thought it would be a one time thing but I'm finding I really enjoy it. Good thing, because I'm definitely not doing it for the money ;-).

Punk IT Issue 2

I created a second "issue" of Punk IT. I hope you like it. You can find all the issues at http://www.dollarprograms.com.

Punk IT The Comic

I created the first in a series of comics called "Punk IT". You can find a pdf of issue 1 at:

http://www.dollarprograms.com/PunkIT/PunkITIssue1.pdf

I used a mixture of Blender, Poser and the Gimp to create this. I'm hoping to have issue 2 out by next week. We'll see.

Angry Guy Fun

I was messing around with Blender, Gimp and Poser last night and came up with the above picture. I'm kind of thinking about creating a short comic strip with the guy. He looks so imposing ;-).

DollarPrograms.com And More Fun

As some of my readers know Guinterface (a business I developed with Phil Henderson) has been foundering for about the last year. We've gone to support only for the most part (with the exception of TaskTastic). Even the support dollars are drying up at this point. When the going gets tough, the tough switch strategies.

I am often working on little projects that just don't seem to fit the mold of full featured commercial programs. I've needed a venue for these "mini-inventions" for a long time. It is with that in mind that I announce the creation of dollarprograms.com. At DollarPrograms we are going to be selling small applications I have created for $1 - $10 (for the most part). It is going to be a simple (Paypal only site).

My future strategy with this site remains to be seen but probably will include "publishing" other peoples $1 programs for a fee of some sort. We'll see how it goes.

Even Cowgirls Should Get The Geek Blues

In this post I'm going to discuss something that most of you true male geeks know ... we are great catches. I know this sounds a bit self-serving but I am prepared to back it up with a little conjecture (facts being scarce).

When I was in junior high school/early high school, I was lucky to get a girl to talk to me, much less date me. I dreamed of the day when I could get my first kiss. I thought it would have to be the best day of my life. When I started dating I was just darn happy that a women would agree to be around me that often. This brings me to my most important point, true geeks are grateful when members of the opposite sex show interest. I think this makes us more thoughtful and hard working boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands and wives.

See, I'm going to let you in on a secret well known amongst my friends and colleagues, my wife is too good for me. She is prettier, smarter and more vivacious than I could possibly deserve. I know this and that is why I won't stray and I will try hard to make our relationship wonderful. It all comes down to appreciating what, in your heart of hearts, you feel you don't deserve. If we all had that attitude perhaps the 60% divorce rate in this country would not be so high. Then again, I'm probably crazy.

The Star Runner - Chapter 4 Section 3

The next section of my story can be found at the following link. I know it's been a while. Sorry:

http://www.writely.com/View.aspx?docid=badxrfdgbtphb

The More You Tighten Your Grip

"The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers." These words were spoken in the 70s in a little movie called Star Wars. They also happen to remind me of the situation the consumer finds themselves in with regards to the RIAA and MPAA. These "evil empires" are dinosaurs of a previous age in which the power rested in the arms of the distributors. With the evolution of the Internet where the contents of a CD can be transfered for a few pennies and a movie can be tranferred for just a few more pennies their power is ever more threatened.

I think we can all agree that when a entity begins suing its customers, they are suing themselves out of existence. Like a T-Rex in its death throes the recording and motion picture industries will kill some of its customers. This will not save them from death. Like the dinosaurs, the story is one of adapt or die. Sometimes adaptations have been forced down these industries throats and when this happens they inevitably make more money. Like a big dumb animal though they fail to apply the lessons of the past to save their future.

RIAA/MPAA we hardly knew you. Rest in peace.

Spreadsheet::WriteExcel

I often find myself needing to compile reports for management in Excel. In cases where there is a lot of data massaging I have found it easiest to to massage with Perl and export to a text file. I then take the text file into Excel using a standard text file import. This is clunky for reports that you do over and over again. It would be great to automate this process. Now you can with the Spreadsheet::WriteExcel module. Using this module you can write Perl data directly to files readable to Excel including formatting and formulas. Woohoo!

Hospitals Are So 1500s

I had a fun Christmas! Oh boy I did. My wife was hospitalized this last weekend during Christmas and it was a blast. I have never seen a more convoluted, slow, shift the responsibility on the next shift bunch of crap in my life.

Health care is the only business I know where customer service is uneccesary. Why? The answer is simple. No matter how bad their service, a hospital is not going to lose any business. In fact as long as they do not kill you they are almost guaranteed you will come back. This is especially true in areas with very few hospitals.

If you wonder why your medical bills are so high look no further than your local hospital's emergency rooms. You wait 3 hours to get a room (if you're lucky). Then 2 hours later a man comes in for some blood work. If you are unlucky enough to go towards the end of a shift the current shift is looking for a way to shift your case to the next shift. In other words be prepared to have to wait until 4 in the morning to get admitted to the actual hospital from the emergency room if you come in past 8 in the evening be prepared to wait as people shuffle you from person to person like some strange inefficient ballet.

Then, when you do get your room be prepared to be interrupted every hour on the hour as your vitals get checked, blood drawn, etc. Then be prepared to wait for the next afternoon for a Doctor to actually dain to come and release you from the hospital. All in all hospitals are prime example of human stupidity, laziness and inefficiency. Then we wonder why a basic hospital visit costs $1000 a day. I don't have to wonder anymore.

If I ran my businesses like hospitals are run I would not have a business.